Two Thousand Eleven (2011)

I started 2011 without any great expectations. I know its my silver year and I was somehow hoping that something good will happen in my life but never have I imagined that my 2011 will be this colorful. 2011 is one of the best years of my life and a milestone if I may say.

I have learned and experienced a lot of new things that I couldn't even believe would happen to me. My 2011 is categorized in four milestones.

1. Weight Loss. When our CEO reached out to help me, I unwaveringly said YES. It was a chance of lifetime for me -- to use a weight loss program of a famous French doctor and for a personal dietitian to follow me. I wasn't sure though back then if I will succeed this challenge. Go with the flow lang ako at first. But then, I religiously followed the program eventually kasi nahihiya naman ako na hindi ako mag-uumeffort samantalang CEO na nga yung lumapit sa 'kin. I poured out all my energy and discipline just to curb my appetite. Di ko lubos maisip kung paano ko nagawang hindi kumain ng kanin sa bawat tanghalian at hapunan ko. But I amazingly did it. Now, I have lost 60 pounds in about seven months. It feels so surreal that I have reached this point and I feel absolutely greaaaaaaaat!

Now, I actually believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe I didn't get the job offer in my dream company early this year for a purpose. I needed to stay at Anxa to live a healthy life. Moreover, I didn't only lose weight but I also gained the lost respect and confidence in myself and I thank Anxa with all my heart for that.

2. Love. Before 2011 sets in, my mind is already settled that I will never experience love, romantically speaking. I am already imagining an old maid's life and all I wanted was for my sister to get married so that my parents can play with their own grandchildren. But, indeed, love comes when you least expect it. And when it does, it will surely shake your world, especially for someone like me who haven't had any relationship in the past.

It is a one-sided love. Despite this, I am still thankful because the relationship I have with him taught and made me experience a lot of things (and emotions) in life. Samu't saring klase ng emosyon na ngayon ko lang talaga naramdaman. Teaching me how to be courageous, how to express my feelings, how to be sweet, how to care for someone, and how to show my love are just some of the several things I learned in falling in love. I didn't know I can do these. Di pa ako nag-a-all out sa kanya ng sobra dahil hindi naman kami, pero at least I know that I am capable of doing these things. How lame can I be? 25 na ako bago ko naexperience 'to? Haha! Iba rin pala talaga yung happy feeling na nadudulot kapag inlove ka. Iba rin naman yung lungkot na mararamdaman mo kapag nasaktan ka sa pag-ibig. Sabi nga nila, only the person you love can give you the happiest and saddest moments in your life. Amen.

3. Career Development. My immediate boss had her maternity leave and since I was the senior in the team. I became the Officer-in-charge of the StatsLab. It was a really overwhelming position. I have to do meetings with the CEO and somehow be the "leader" of the team. I was not a born leader. So making decisions for the team is a hard feat for me especially when others will be at stake. Anyway, I have no choice. The responsibility was left to me. For the first few weeks, my heart always skips a beat whenever I have the weekly meetings with the CEO. Eventually (with lots of prayer involved), I managed to face my fear (or at least lessen it). I was able to cope with the stress and workload in time. I learned to somehow take the lead and be responsible for the actions and decisions I am making.

4. Personality Development. I have acquired various traits during my weight loss, while being in love, and in my career development that helped me to become a more well-rounded person. Discipline and being confident are the two major traits I've gained. It may be simple but to me their impact is enormous. Nabawasan ang pagiging mahiyain ko at mas nakakapaglabas ako ng tunay kong nararamdaman. I've always been an introvert so now at least my hard outer shell is cracked already.

2011 had been really great for me. My utmost and sincerest thank you to all the people I've shared my 2011 with. You were all awesome! I still do hope to spend my 2012 with you :)

My journey in these milestones will be continued in 2012. I just hope 2012 will be even a greater year or at par with the passing year.

Happy New Year!

Before and After

Soooo good to see my blue shirt is no longer bulging with fats!!! Haha!

Sorry. There's a lot of me going on there. Hehe.

I have been slowing down with my diet for the past two weeks. My EQ had been decreasing when it comes to resisting food lately. I am so sorry, Laarni. :( Sheeesh. I just missed food sooooo much lately. But I promise to make it up this September.

Looks like I am going back to gym to try out Zumba this September. So, my hopes are up! I will work double time to reach at least 3/4 of my goal by November.

I happened to browse my old Profile Pictures in Facebook the other day, and seeing how big my face was, I  can't believe my face was THAT round and big! With double to triple chin! Haha! And looking where I am right now, I feel so happy that I reached this stage. And I am even more motivated to keep this going to see how will I be when I lose 36 pounds more.

Scream!

I just want to SCREAM!!!

*sigh*

Life has a lot of twists, indeed.
And now, I am having a hard time how to straighten those twists.
Either I let go now or prolong the happiness that will turn into agony, eventually.
Which is the lesser evil? I have no idea.

I am not an emo person, pero na-eemo na ako dito. Kaloka. Sheeesh.

Dropping My Size by Two Notches

There are two things that happens during the month of July. It rains with water and it rains with SALE!!! Mid-year sales! Even if I don't want to spend much money due to my impending trip to Cebu, I dragged myself to Makati and readied myself to scout for a good haul of bargains. To add, I somehow need new sets of clothes because some of my tops and bottoms don't fit well already.

I went to Forever 21, my favorite store, to look for a shorts for my Cebu trip. I got a nice pair but they aren't on sale, but since I love it much, I still got it. And to my surprise, I am already a size 14 from size 18! Ahhhh it feels soooo good. I also tried a size 12 in Marks and Spencers and I only need *this much* to zip it! Haha! Aja, Aja!!! And to bring more happiness, I got the boyfriends blazer I've been wanting to buy since its release at Bayo! I thought no size will fit me because I saw the Medium size before and looks like its too small so I didn't attempt to ask for Large anymore. Luckily, a Large size was on the rack, so I tried it, and to my utter disbelief, it fits!!! Ahhh I literally felt like I was in heaven. Haha!

To finish my shopping, I also bought a pretty pair of floral sandals.. :) Ahh I still want to buy more but I have to limit myself. Next time.. :)

I'll work my way till I get size 12, then size 10, then size 8. Haha! :))

My Quarter Life List

I never thought turning 25 is a big deal until I heard Lore's story of her husband, Nell, jotting down a list of things he wants to do on his 25th birthday. So, since last year I was kind of thinking of what I also want to do on my 25th year of existence, it is, after all my quarter life.

I initially thought of traveling abroad on my own. I specifically wanted to visit Hongkong, the third time around, to celebrate my birthday, just to have a super ME time on MY day. A bit weird, but I really want to experience that. Just you, on a place where no one knows you. But, anyway, since I'll be going to South Korea (hopefully I will be granted a visa) with Renee on November, I cannot go to Hongkong due to financial constraints. I, therefore, dubbed my Seoul trip as my 25th super birthday blowout to myself. South Korea, after all, is a dream for me and how perfect it will be to go there on my quarter life year!

A few weeks before my birthday, hindi talaga ako mapalagay. I really want to spend my birthday somewhere else. Gladly, Renee is available and there is a seat sale in Air Philippines. So, I booked the tickets bound for Cebu. Come July 6-8, I will be spending my first ever birthday away from family and home. I am thrilled with excitement for this something-new. And for the first time, I booked a five-star hotel, Radisson Blu, for this trip. Good thing, Renee is game on this one despite the pricey-ness. :) Come on, it's my quarter life! A little splurge should be justifiable. :)

Anyway, my officemate just turned 25 as well and I read her blog on what things to know on being 25.

1. Job. Now is the time to figure out what kind of work you love to do. What are you good at? What makes you feel alive? What do you dream about?

MY TAKE: I've been wanting to get another job but I am never successful with that plan of mine. I have a lot of dreams that I know I will love -- setup my own restaurant, own a boutique, or work for an events management job. But the thing is I am not doing much to attain these. I am afraid to move out from status quo. What if I don't become successful on this new path?

2. Relationships. Now is also the time to get serious about relationships. And “serious” might mean walking away from the ones that don’t give you everything you need. Some of the most life-shaping decisions you make in this season will be about walking away from good-enough, in search of can’t-live-without.

MY TAKE: I am a certified NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth). I really think I'll be an old maid and I will accept that if that will be my case. But of course, I also wish to have my own family. I wish my parents could play with their grandchildren. At this age, I think I am not yet ready anyway to have any romantic relationships because I can't really express how I truly feel. I am poor at my social and communication skills. That's my waterloo. I don't know how to be sweet and all that stuff (even to my immediate family). I guess it all boils down to that fact that I am afraid of rejection so I tend to just hide whatever I am feeling.

3. Counseling. Unravel the knots that keep you from living a healthy whole life, and do it now, before any more time passes.

MY TAKE: I know the knots that keep me from living a healthy whole life but I don't know how to un-knot it. I really need a personality development course! I am really tempted but it really costs a lot!

4. Church. Be patient and prayerful, and decide that you’re going to be a person who grows, who seeks your own faith, who lives with intention.

MY TAKE: This is something that I know I've never gone wrong in my entire life. I know I belong to be a member of the Iglesia ni Cristo. God showed me the way to live the life as it should be lived.

5. Don't get Stuck. Move, travel, take a class, take a risk. Walk away, try something new. There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming.

MY TAKE: I know everything has a risk. Sadly, I am a risk-averse person but I am trying to be be adventurous, trying out new things as I journey life. Testing whatever I can just to find out what I can become. I need to settle on how to achieve my long term goals so I have a path to take.

Now.. I think I am way to far to be 25 next week! I still need a lot of sorting out to do. Gee.